These Christmas carols tell story of New York sports in 2021

Mets can't afford to hire wrong team president

Every year, I wonder, is there enough material to clear our throats and join together in the community of song. And then, every year, I look at the standings in the newspaper. And I ask you to lend your voices to the call … 

“Good Day to You, Dave Gettleman” 

(Sung to “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”) 

Good day to you, Dave Gettleman 
It’s time for you to go 
You said you’d turn Big Blue around 
As Santa says, “Ho, Ho!” 
Instead you built the worst disaster 
Since the Alamo 
Yes the Jints stink top-down just like a fish
(Blame Mara/Tisch) 
The overwhelming wish. 

Good luck to you, Dave Gettleman
Who built this blue morass
Your D is built on tape and glue 
Your offense fiberglass 
And when you walk don’t let the front door 
Hit you in the … um, arse 
Yes the fans blame you and they hold a grudge 
(Also Joe Judge) 
Clean the Meadowlands 
Before it turns to sludge. 

Dave Gettleman
Dave Gettleman
Bill Kostroun/New York Post

“Stumbling Around the Meadowlands” 

(Sung to “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”) 

Stumbling around the Meadowlands
It’s the J-E-T-S Jets 
Haven’t been fine since ’69 
As the fans spit epithets. 

Bumbling around the Meadowlands 
Robert Saleh’s beaten stare
Can’t play D or kick for 3 
And the offense is threadbare 

You will get a queasy little feeling
When you see 
Wilson throws that bounce and flutter
Johnson’s fingers glazed with butter 

Grumbling around the Meadowlands 
Even Ira’s gone to tears 
Watching this slop and football flop 
For the past … fif … ty … two … years! 

Robert Saleh
Robert Saleh
Bill Kostroun/New York Post

“Sanchez Baby” 

(Sung to “Santa Baby,” assist by Rob Ricco) 

Sanchez baby 
Catch a slider outside the zone, for me 
You’ve been a disappointing Yankee Sanchez baby 
So hurry to the backstop tonight 

Chapman baby 
Don’t throw the hanger when you can hit 103 
No smiles when the save goes badly 
Chapman baby 
And hurry to the DL tonight. 

Think of all the cash Hal’s mined
Think of all the stars he could’ve signed 
Next year we coulda won the whole cigar 
If Cash had only signed Storey or Seagar 

Cashman cutie 
Fill your lineup with righty dreck 
Those checks, 
Stanton signed right here on the X 
Cashman baby, 
Don’t give us analytics tonight 

Gary Sanchez
Gary Sanchez
Charles Wenzelberg/New York Post

“It’s the Mets’ Wonderful Time of the Year” 

(Sung to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”) 

It’s the Mets’ wonderful time of the year
When the hot stove’s a-blazing 
They’re downright amazing
No boos in their ears! 
It’s the Mets’ wonderful time of the year