In the 2002 film “Spider-Man,” Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben told his nephew, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
What he did not dramatically say was: “With great power comes more than 30 films.”
But that unfortunately is maniac Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige’s misguided interpretation of the comic book wisdom.
“Eternals,” out Friday, is somehow the 26th movie in the so-called Marvel Cinematic Universe, a Texas-sized web of interconnected superhero features that’s been devouring cinemas since 2008’s “Iron Man.”
There are seven more on-screen clones publicly announced through 2023’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” and many others are said to be in development, which sounds less like a plan than a threat.
If Marvel continues their Usain Bolt pace of releasing three movies a year, by 2029 we’ll have 50 of these things. Stop the madness!
Yet why would these addicts pack up shop now? Feige and Friends are printing money (“Endgame” raked in nearly $2.8 billion worldwide) for the Evil Little Mouse, Disney, and crazed fans are still slobbering over capes and Spandex — if not with the same intensity as they did with “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Endgame,” briefly the highest grossing film of all time before “Avatar” blew past it.
Those two films, however, also marked the franchise’s peak of quality. “Black Panther,” lest we forget, was nominated for Best Picture in 2019.
If I were Feige, well, I’d buy a Greek island. But I also wouldn’t send my awards-show tux out to the dry cleaners next year.
Besides being the flick to surpass the James Bond series’ scant 25 chapters, “Eternals” holds a less illustrious record: It’s the worst reviewed Marvel entry so far. “Nomadland” Oscar winner Chloé Zhao’s movie holds a mere 53 percent on RottenTomatoes.
In my review for The Post, I gave it one star. The sleepy dud jumps between so-so and so embarrassing. It introduces some 10 bland characters we don’t enjoy or care about, but like our distant cousins in Wyoming, we have to see again and again because they’re in the damn family.
Yes, I know the recent “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings” was very good. And “Black Widow” was fine. However — and deep down you know this, Marvel fans — the MCU’s best days are behind it. Before the pandemic, we were being force-fed flavorless Soylent Green like “Captain Marvel” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” And there will be more uninspired crapola. So. Much. More.
Getting out when the going is good, and ensuring a legacy, goes against our modern “more! more! more!” attitude. Instead, we wring out every last penny from something until it dies a pathetic death. Over at Disney, they’ve turned “Star Wars” into “The Neverending Story” and are forcing Harrison Ford to play Indiana Jones again at 79 years old. The guy already looked exhausted when he made “Crystal Skull” 13 years ago — but it’s Disney who’s holding the whip now.
It wasn’t always that way. “Seinfeld” went off the air in 1998 as one of TV’s most popular shows. In 2002, tennis player Pete Sampras retired shortly after he won the US Open. Harper Lee wrote just one great novel with “To Kill A Mockingbird” (“Go Set a Watchman” doesn’t count).
Here’s Uncle Johnny’s advice: There’s real dignity in walking away on top. Or flying, such as the case may be.