Halo Infinite’s grunt dialogue is geniunely funny

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Look, the Halo franchise has always been pretty funny. Grunts are known for their nonsense battle quips, and I’ve absolutely grown to love my goofy marine buddies. But Halo Infinite is taking it to a new level. The marines, once again, are ridiculous — but it’s the grunt dialogue that stands out. There’s the usual battle chat that happens when attacking a base-load of enemies, but developer 343 Industries has essentially created a grunt podcast that’s broadcast over the entirety of Zeta Halo.

One activity in Halo Infinite is to seek out and destroy these propaganda towers, which earns me valor. That’s well and good, but don’t destroy these towers without giving them a listen. Else, you’ll miss out on the grunt communications officer musing on a number of different topics, like how stupid human names are: “Go back in time and tell your parents to try harder.”

Or maybe it’s the comms officer speaking directly to Master Chief, asking him to reconsider destroying the tower. “Okay? Just wait for a sec. Because if you take all these towers out, I’m out of a job. And if I’m no use to whatever hairy so-and-so takes over for Eascharum, I’m dead.”

Other times, it’s just the comms officer sobbing into the microphone, sick of trying to convince the troops that Master Chief is definitely not winning. Take, for instance, this message that references stuff that happened in the campaign — me, as Master Chief, taking down a torture specialist.

Image: 343 Industries/Xbox Game Studios via Reporter Door
Image: 343 Industries/Xbox Game Studios via Reporter Door

Yep, Chak’lok, the Elite I defeated at The Tower, is definitely not dead. One hundred percent alive.

Another one of my favorite lines came from a Grunt I overheard chatting about his life. It’s special because I learned a little bit of Grunt lore — that they go to a school called the Nipple Academy. This is the sort of lore I’m looking for.

‘All this weapon carryin’ and battle dodgin’ has got me missin’ home. When all we worried about was keepin’ good marks at the Nipple Academy.’

Elsewhere across the internet, Halo Infinite players are delighting in their own experiences of Grunt dialogue, as well as a few of my own favorite moments where the Grunts absolutely wrecked me.

master chief laying on the ground with on-screen text that reads “i hope the human afterlife sucks.”

master chief laying on the ground, with on-screen text that reads “ha! you suck worse than i do!”

Grunt: “banished don’t pay me to listen to brutes ... huh, they don’t pay me AT ALL!”

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